A few of you reading this may know part of our story. But, I will try to elaborate, if at all possible, in a condensed fashion.
When we got married, we were pretty much set on doing what most ignorant American parent does -- putting our kids in public schools. Honestly, homeschooled kids were just weird, and all the private schooled kids that I knew were morally "worse" than the public schooled ones. Thus, the beginning of our misappropriated journey. We began with the assumptions that our kids should be "cool" (not weird) and "moral."
Then, we started reading books. Not Jesus-touch-me-make-my-life-easier Christian books, but big, frustrating books. Around this time, we also started paying attention to quite a few believers from all over who were coming to much different conclusions than we had on parenting and education.
Probably the nail in the coffin of public or private school was our relationship which was formed while in Seattle with Phil and Jen Schmidt. They had decided to homeschool their kids, and we were intrigued. We had several conversations with them, and started reading the books they read. We both decided we would pursue the path toward homeschooling our boys. We had already been doing some catechizing and Cyn had been teaching the boys to read. So, it was perfect timing. They were pre-"gradeschool" age.
We sought out what we perceived to be the most biblical homeschooling curriculum we could find, and we began. I was working 60 hours a week around this time, so Cyn was doing the majority of the actual "teaching." If you asked her to this day, she wouldn't have traded that time for anything. She loved it.
Over a few months' time, we started trying to connect with some other local homeschoolers. We thought it would be good to gain some wisdom from those who had been doing it already. And, in reality, these were some of the strangest people around. Maybe they had figured out their "theology" but it seemed to have died in 1950. We visited a few local churches that had solid homeschooling families within them, and continued to be frustrated.
We also realized that we had become increasingly arrogant toward those who disagreed about the education of their children. We had all the answers, right...we had read all the books they hadn't. So, they were stupid, and we had it all figured out. We continued to make wise cracks at public schools, and in reality probably created more distance between ourselves and those coming from different perspectives than was necessary. So, the acquaintances we were left with were these weird homeschool people.
Then, we started talking a lot more about being intentional and "missional" in everything we do. Instead of bashing the government, maybe we should be involved. Instead of railing on public education, maybe we should be incarnational.
So, obviously, there were a lot of tear-stained conversations about the transition from what we assumed would be an oasis to what we assumed would be irresponsible.
One major understanding was that making the change would entail much more responsibility. Ultimately, we are responsible for the education and "bringing up" of our kids. The goal of "education" is not to make our kids good Americans. So, obviously, we may have to fight against a lot of things that we completely disagree with. But, rather than throwing stones from the outside, we have chosen to work with and for, from the inside.
Our hope is that as much as we can, we will be involved in the school system and our kids' friends' parents' and teacher's lives. We will help where we can. And, we will not naively think that a humanistic system is going to either "poison" or "save" our kids.
It's easy to assume we know someone's motivation for doing something. If our motivation for putting our kids in public schools was to "socialize" them or "educate" them properly or because we need a daycare, then we would be in sin. But, if our motivation is to be on God's mission in a specific time and a specific place for His glory, then I believe we are on the right track.
(I'm sure there will be more to come of this...)
5 comments:
I can see your point about why you did what you did. And I will not criticize you for doing it. In the end you did what you felt was the most correct way to engage the world around you.
I suppose the direction I approach this issue from is not that I'm afraiding of putting my children in danger of facing violence or some secular influence (whatever that even means.) I see that I was constantly frustrated by public education and it's mundane lack of innovation or liberty to explore thinking critically or just thinking period. It's all just the same old crap. When blue and yellow food-coloring go into a glass of water, the water always turns green, and yet we call that an experiment. And the level of depth elementary to high school hardly changes at all. Schools in the US waste more time than nearl any other western nation, and for what? It's esssentially training people to be good citizens. The defense of public education in the US that I hear quite a lot is typically linked to Jeffersonian democracy; if people are equipped with enough knowledge or information they'll be better able to govern themselves.
I don't see that in my contemporaries, though. I see an entire nation of people constantly duped in to thinking a certain way by the very people they have the authority to elect or send packing. By this I mean that in every election season the issues are innumerated and decided by the candidates, not the voters.
So, from my perspective, we are not free. We are bound to a culture that, for all its talk of democracy and liberalism, just wants us to shut up and go with the flow. The fact is our wills are not free. Everything we learn about the world from grade school on is reduced to sound bites surrounded on both sides by an odd number of periods to express that their was more that isn't pertinant to the situation. Our world consists of foot notes that everyone is required to use, but no one really reads.
I don't want my children to be any more a part of that than they have to. I don't want thinking to be reduced to situations of necessity for them. I hope they're cynics in the classical sense. I want my children to be people who can question the society around them and without fear of being weird.
And I'll say that the people I knew growing up who were homeschooled their whole lives, enjoyed being with their families a whole lot more than I did. I viewed my family as a liability and people i wasn't supposed to like. I spent my childhood in a room of twenty to thirty children raising eachother, they were raised by adults. Which one of those is wierd? Children are mean and hateful ton one another, I hope I don't have to send my children to sit in class rooms and learn about life from other people with no wisdom on the subject. Their being literate is not worth that to me.
I really try not to think about "how my kids will turn out" as a primary motivation for our choice. There are dangers in all areas.
There has definitely been a much higher level of "correction" which has gone into our parenting since putting our kids into the situations we have.
One of the arguments I used to use for homeschooling was that we wouldn't send a soldier to battle without proper training. I really felt we would be doing that to our boys by putting them into public schools without discernment. But, I just don't think that holds up any longer. Eventually, reality will set in. At what point do we allow our children to experience the "real world"?
I honestly think there are great reasons for each option (and likewise terrible reasons for each). I really think it all comes back to motive. I think each family is required to carefully think through all options, not just submit to whatever is the norm.
This wasn't at all a motivating factor in choosing public schools, but, interestingly, the school we happened to move by is much different than most schools in the area. It is part of the "Core Knowledge" program:
http://www.coreknowledge.org/CK/about/FAQ/FAQ.htm#1
I'm not sure exactly what that entails, yet. But, we'll find out soon enough.
It is also one of the few "Arts Integration" schools in Oklahoma, which is explained here:
http://www.okaplus.ucok.edu/about.htm
All of that may be "bonuses" for our boys, but really isn't swaying us one way or the other about our decision. The bigger picture must always be in view.
One interesting thing, which also wasn't "primary" in our decision, was that we honestly didn't feel that we were able to teach the boys to read as well as we should have. We were having a really hard time, and everyone knows we're not idiots.
Likewise, I know there are certain subjects which will eventually be impossible for me or my wife to teach the boys, and I don't see that as a negative. I don't know how to work on cars very well, but Jon does. So, when that time comes, hopefully Jon will be able to play a crucial role in their lives -- which is a great thing! I think that applies to many areas of life. The believing community, in my opinion, should play a much more direct role in their lives and "education" than their school.
The primary "teaching" they need, though, must come directly from Cyn and I. We are ultimately, primarily responsible for bringing them up "in the Lord." All other "knowledge" which the world deems necessary is supplemental. I don't think that is necessarily a call to detach from the world's standards, but rather to motivate us toward more faithfulness in our own teaching, by word and deed.
Children start living in the real world the minute they slide out of mom. Despite the fact that so many people don't want to "shelter" their children, there are many things that children are not capable of handling. That's why so many people have a very ignorant perception of sex, so many of us learned about things like that from people with no more wisdom or experience than any other child. I know you're not disputing this, but children need to be raised by adults and not each other. I personally feel that public education robs parents of their responsibility and privilege of caring for their children and training them to be adults.
Where the hell is Jonathan? Mr. Razoroye needs to get in here.
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